Thinking about art and drawing and design = happy feeling
Thinking about all the physics and calculus courses I'm going to be taking = sad feeling
Should I be gleaning something important from this? Like get out of engineering and go do art? Or is it just early college jitters?
And these thoughts are not just occasional. I think about this decision all the time. All. The. Time. Even when I have talked myself into staying with engineering, everything just creeps back in to my sorry little brain and stews there. It is dumb the way that happens to me.
I have got a little story. When I was trying to find a laptop for school, my dad and I went to Fry's and looked at all the stuff they had. HP, Sony, every other computer imaginable. Except Dell. Not a Dell in sight. I had been looking at them online for a while and really liked the way they looked and the performance and everything. But I could not see them up close and really decide if I liked one. So I took my only options as either an HP or a Sony or one of the others that was in the store. When we left, I had this really frustrated feeling. I just was not comfortable, if that makes sense to anyone. Like a restless feeling. We saw a Best Buy and decided to try there. They had Dell and every one of them that I looked at I could see myself with, unlike at the other store. I had a hard time deciding which one I wanted because I liked all of them!
This is the feeling I am getting here. A restless, unsure feeling. I know it is kind of crazy equating what I want to do with the rest of my life with buying a computer. But then again, it's not. Both things I care about a lot, both I only want what's the very best for me, both are a very important investment.
I am going to try and give it time. If by Thanksgiving I am not completely in love with engineering again, I will probably be considering other things.